What Day

Major major revelations from God these days that I couldn't contain. Yes I am broken, but He holds me together. I am willing to take time, yes, willing to wait. 

Day 43

I might not be able to continue for now with the current state that I have so writing it off wouldn't help. The pressure on the pain is too much that I am screaming these days. I might pass out. 

Day 42 Desert and Storms

We were created to experience abundant life (Genesis 1:26...so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.") but because of sin, we experience seasons of life apart from abundance. It may not be always summer but we can be assured that God is there through any season.

We know when we are in the season of blessings and abundance, when all is well, when things are going our way, when we are being blessed. In my devotions, I took looks at other seasons we experience in life.


In the desert.
Hosea 13:5 (NLT)
5 I took care of you in the wilderness, in that dry and thirsty land.
In the desert we may not have problems we can't face but we are so empty, we don't seem to be advancing. When it feels that even our spiritual life is dry. It isn't really bad in this season unless because of sin. We know that it could only be consequence of what we've done wrong, but apart from any of it, season of dryness can be an opportunity for us to receive new things, fresh water. A time to stay in faith, a time to trust God. Being human, Jesus himself conquered all temptations in the dessert (Matt. 4)

In the storm.
Mark 4:37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
In the storm is where we are being bombarded by so many things that's happening. Thunderstorms, waves rocking our state of balance, life so swamped. It may seem that He doesn't care if we drown. But He is with us. He calms the storm.

In the desert, there's hunger and need. Rest assured He will provide.
In the storm, we learn quietness and trust, we have to be still and know He is God.

Day 41 EQ

My emotions are upswinging these days.

In one of my workouts, someone told me that in order to do your exercises, you have to be mentally strong. Since then, I put on efforts to my repetitions, adding one or two more in the usual 15 reps/ set. I am able to do what I was given to me, sometimes doing overtrainings (which well, needs to be checked also). It isn't emotions that drives physically fit people, as there will be days you just don't feel like doing it, it is your mental ability.

In this, to be able to be emotionally strong, you need emotional exercises. In my readings this morning, I found some nice article on what our behaviors should practice to be emotionally solid. These have been updated based on my personal needs. So dear self, here we go.

1. Properly label your emotions so you can accurately identify what you're going through.  It isn't just happy or sad-- know other emotional terms.
2. Have empathy. Listen to other people's stories. Understand other people. As you were given grace, you are giving yourself grace, give others the grace they deserve.
3. Be adapting, moreover, to changes.
4. Know who you are so you won't get easily offended. Don't be defined by what other people think of you and their opinions.
5. Keep mistakes and sad thoughts at a safe distance. Dwelling makes you anxious, forgetting bounds you to do same mistakes.When it becomes uncontrollable, surrender it to God.
6. Control your interactions. Know when and whom you can talk to at certain times. When to check social media.
7. Not perfection, growth. Not speed, resilience.
8. Be grateful.
9. Keep stress under control. Know when to disconnect, or getting self to workout.
10. Know when to drink coffee.
11. Rest. Sleep well. Eat right. If you don't and you practice otherwise, it'll get you mad. You know that well.
12. Best of all, read the bible. Reading, practicing, becoming.

Day 40 Zipline

Still ecstatic and I couldn't believe it. Had a wonderful zip line experience at Downtown Dubai from Burj Residences, overlooking Burj Khalifa, to Dubai Mall and it was for free 😍😍 Thank You Lord and for your sweet surprises! I couldn't even help but posting it on Facebook 😜. My blog was something about lessons I've been doing this morning but today calls for this post. 

The free ride was only for Lab (who knows someone working in Burj Residences) and Jhez. It was supposed to be last Friday but it rained. I am not to come then that day as I was cooking for the lifegroup. 

So it happened today. I came with them without plan I'd do it as it was only for two people. I got nervous and excited when the sponsor said me and Iya could go! 

Up there, I couldn't remember anything I was thinking. I was so free. My thoughts was blankly amazed at thankfulness. I didn't took a selfie up there. I just wanted to feel it. My mind was floating that I forgot everything else. That 45 seconds was like little infinities I could treasure. I could be free as that while thanking God. I remember my old self who used to get excited even at small things. How even walks outside makes me happy and carefree and most probably it is high time to relive the character. 

We appreciate things in life when we acknowledge that everything belongs to Him and He can even give us surprises we could be so grateful for. We appreciate things because we rarely have them and when we get it, it is just amazing.  

Day 39 In the Quiet

It is true, we live in a world where we can always find something to distract us; set bucket lists that can be done to be used in our time. We are in constant state of doing something to show something. Outrageous days, fun-filled nights, awesome adventures are the things we can do to fill our days. But most of the times, we would sit or lie down, asking ourselves what to do. During these moments, we actually realize things and to-dos that matter. What's expected of me today. What should I be doing. If nothing is required, it is okay to stay silent. To even look at the ceiling. To be okay not to feel okay. To be asking God to lift us up. To let Him search us in our sincerest state.

One of those times I was in the hospital taking care of my brother who had acute pancreatitis, my sister who is a nurse told me that our body has the ability to heal itself. God has given these antibodies to help us recuperate. Sleeping and resting cause these to work in itself. We sometimes need not any medicine to help us get better, rather just rest.

It is okay to fall silent, to be just contented whether we do something audacious or just mere sitting, to be doing nothing, to rest even if we are not tired.

That's when we appreciate the things we're anticipating, the joy that's coming, the hope we're learning. Silence-and-rest is contentment-and-purification.Yes, God often comes in the quite and He thinks it is precious. (Peter 3:4 the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. )

We can be still, and know He is and will always be God.

Day 38 Martian and Movies

I've seen the movie 'The Martian'. I don't cry at movies but this one's got me. It's a great film. 

We can't have a good story without a good struggle. The story depicted the life of Mark Watney when he was stranded in planet Mars with xx SOL days for food and needs. In the end, he was able to survive and rescued by the crew. It says in great attempt, it is glorious even to fail. It is more glorious when it goes beyond limitations, expectations, and becomes a success. 

Yes, we can't have a good story without a good struggle. But the struggle should only give glory to our God. In whatever circumstance we get into, it should tell an end pointing to the cross.

I thank God for the teaching He gave us last Monday. I was nervous, I could cry. 

I've also seen The War Room, a great film. I shall blog it at time of preparation for the next Mondays's fellowship.

Day 37 Jogging

Starting on my jogging routine wasn’t easy, an activity far more than sitting on a couch like a potato is like waking up very early while you are still dreaming, yawning. Thinking of the kilometers to run makes me feel like giving up the whole idea. Endurance, it is, not speed is what I aim. I maybe jogging quite few meters but enduring the pain of waiting while be worthwhile.

Endurance is the ability or strength to continue or last, esp. despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions. It is the power of enduring or bearing pain, hardships.

This was Paul’s prayer and one of my favorite verses that I always quote.


We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us. (Col. 1:-12, The Message)

He prays for the endurance to make someone last, not to endure through self-endurance but the endurance that comes from the glory-strength of God.

To last long, stay longer. This was one of the words of encouragement I received from a teaching. There are a lot who give up, because they depend on their own strength. The thing is, we can’t because, we are limited. It is the God-strength that endures the unendurable, that helps us find love that hopes, protects, trust, have no end.

For anyone who is suffering from pain – I pray for strong frame, strong back, to endure what we are going through. A night, although dark, will come to an end by dawn break.

Tough times never last, but tough people do.  – Robert H Schuller

I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.  – Thomas Paine

Day 36 Training

In the past months, I have trained at least four people for posts in the office. I was honored when HR wants me to train them. When the first one came, I was very hopeful and eager to teach her everything, not keeping anything I have known and techniques I have been doing. I like teaching. I feel passionate about it. After the third day, the trainee backed out. The training was tiring as I was doing my daily task and I have to teach. Following week, a new trainee came. Then another trainee. And another. I always feel exhausted but I was amazed at the energy I give whenever I train them.

This experience led me to remembrance of our passion in Christ.

We should never lose the tenderness that the cross evokes in our hearts. It should continuously take our breath away. It should be our passion to know Him more.

After each training, I become so spent. As much as the same energy I wanted to give each day for training, I feel sapped from talking the whole day trying to have them absorb the task. I was commended by the two people I trained in the office. I was humbled to hear they tell each other of how it all went, all for God's glory.

The reality of human life is that there will be some days that aren’t mountaintop experiences. Some days will be filled with conflict, homework, errands, laundry, loss, pain, bitterness and—hardest of all—apathy. I wish every day were filled with great community, exciting missions work, christian concerts and prayer gatherings. But the truth is, most of our lives are spent somewhere between these two realities. Most days we get a little of both.

Being a Christian has little to do with how we feel, but everything to do with God’s covenant with us.

The sign of an authentic relationship with God is that it allows itself to change over time. In any relationship, we have to adapt and fight to overcome new challenges. If we try to cling to how it was at the beginning, we will never grow in actual relationship. The truth of God’s unconditional love for us never changes, but we have to let that truth be expressed differently as needed in different seasons.

Day 35 Embrace the Season

Today I finished the book 'Me Before You', the ending wasn't the one I have wanted or at least expected. Just to quote one good line, Will's mother said, we hope that he can see that 'there's a life he can enjoy, even if it is not the life he hadn't plan.

The Israelites lived for many years in Egypt that they have adapted Egyptian culture and have been used to the life of being slaves. In their journey to the promise land, they felt as if they were brought from slavery to more wildness experience, more terrible place (Numbers 20:5). They were complaining about how their lives was better in Egypt. 

In the desert is where they experienced to be emptied, sanctified, purified. It is where God gave them the ten commandments and sets of guide to living. In the desert is where they had learning, miracles, experiences, and even witness the grace of God despite their stubbornness. 

We might have not known what is freedom and fulfillment of God's promises because we have lived a life of slavery. We are so accustomed to living in it that we don't enjoy the journey of His revelations along the way. But yes, there's a life we can enjoy with God in whatever the circumstance (contentment, peace, freedom) even if we are not living in a life we hadn't plan --our own plans (getting rich, having cars, making money).

If we have decided to obey God, and we feel uncomfortable and it feels like we're on the desert, let's not worry, God is working for our real and eternal freedom.

Day 34 Liz Keen

I've been watching the 'The Blacklist' for almost three years now. In the recent episode, Red asked Liz why she forgave Tom despite all the secrets he kept from her since they met, she simply said, 'Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it can change the future'.

Weeks ago, one of my old friends suddenly messaged me wanting to see me when I come back. Just today, another old friend asked me if I am still angry with her. Amazed, amused, I said 'Ha?I actually surrendered it all to God. All okay'. She said she wanted to apologize.

If reconciliation isn't possible, forgiveness always is.Yes, it may not change the past, but it could change the future. Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending nothing has been done, but it is like there's nothing to blame other people for. This state can actually come only if we experience forgiveness from God through our repentance. When we grasp the idea of the mercy He has given us, like an ocean, forgiving others, is like a river coming from it.

Day 33 These days

Most of the time, I am able to gather myself by finding strength in the hope of the Lord. When I am reminded by earthly pains, I remind myself about the eternal glory. I should remain faithful and steadfast to the reason why Jesus died on the cross for me. Focusing on His face, not on the waves. 

My prayer is not to be able to endure the pain but to surrender each and every heartache to Him who is able to change me. 

Unless I submit the things which I cannot carry myself, I will always be burdened from them.