11 Dec 17/ Handling Apologies Even If We Are Not Yet Ready

Sometimes, it puts us in the “wrong” if we tell the apologizer with 'I’m not ready', but when we're hurt and we are not yet ready to accept other people's apology, how do we deal with the pain?

I was afraid that when people apologize, it was to ease them of the burden but that doesn't imply that their behavior is going to change.

It was my thinking that I will only have to accept the apology and move on from it and accept the other person's limitations and probably their ignorance. It was to make them feel forgiven from the things they can't do for you.

I would often say that it was even better not to feel the feeling, and worse, telling them what you felt but I realize that it isn't always learning how to accept apologies but learning to protect ourselves from disappointments, handling disappointments better, surrendering your disappointments.

Here's some key points I learned.

But first, in as much as possible, try not to start a quarrel because 'starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.' ( Proverbs 17:14) but if it happens..


1. It happens.

Disappointment happens when our expectations fail. It occurs to every one and every relationships, but as easy as saying don't expect, our core does, our plans look forward to happening, and we surmise with the words of other people.

Our thoughts must not be 'don't expect' but to put our hopes (and anchor) it with the Lord.

Psalm 130:7...put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.


2. Allow to feel..because we will get exhausted with pretending we're not okay.

“Pain begs to be felt—or life will beg you to feel not one emotion at all. Emotion means movement — and emotions are meant to move you toward God.” ~ The Broken Way


3... but put limitations to your emotions. While we often dwell with pain, we can exert effort to remember all other good. Remembering how much you love the person, all the sacrifices, would help you put limit to the sad situation. Do not allow the situation to destroy relationships.  Try to look forward and think that you will only have to go through it to become better at handling emotions.Your relationship matters more than the faults.

4. Objective contemplating.  It is good to think about what happened in an objective manner (not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts) so we can weigh things and be better at decision making.

5. Surrender. While it is inevitable, and you can't just ignore your emotions, and so allowing it (with limitations) would help, thinking objectively and ultimately surrendering will make us better at handling disappointment.

Running from it, staying away from it, and giving in it to it are not better options. Instead, cast your burdens and give your anxieties to Him (Ps 55:20. 1 Pet 5:7) because He always care. Come to Him and take rest. Learn His gentle and lowly heart so that our souls will find rest (Matt 11:28).

30 Oct 2017

Four months ago and the year that was, I had a lot of time of time writing and contemplating before the visions came to reality, I got the job I've been praying for after a year and 4 months! The longest period I was jobless. God's provision  was enough, I never thought I'd get to and from Manila with allowances from parents and sales from what I do at home.

So my first day at work was August 7. During my days in July, my going back and forth Manila went almost everyday for interviews, having meetings --even right before my birthday. I feel something's going good is on my way. I had to put an entry to IG that says I could almost feel it. I continued entrusting the Lord for His ways. I won't be able to share how many times I was overwhelmed by graces I receive, blessings I get, support I experience, the love and care I gain.

To top it all, I made peace with old friends I used to pray for redemption with. The learnings were far greater than the answer to my specific prayers. His blessings were far best than what I thought. The surrender means receiving more of what He could give.

It was in September when I graduated from worship team --His grace has sustained me to endure all those days of training. For an icing, I was blessed with what a sign from many years ago. 'Best days all ahead since that June outdoor.  

I make writings as mnemonics, photos as metaphors, words as revolutionary realities.  

To conclude why I wasn't able to write here: within the three months of working, I was busy adjusting, scheduling, making it big without intentions, being invited to president's office, receiving good favors, and working as if I've been working here for years. I write, I research, I make plans, I design, I photograph, I go out of office, I meet people, I teach them. 

I was inspired to write again.

08 Jul 2017

I will tell it here. I sort of stopped reading the bible (not that I fully stopped but yeah rested, which was wrong I know) in the past as I have been receiving His word about love and unity and fighting the good fight of faith and get desperate on His timing. So I allowed myself to some games, I mean all day I'm gaming, until I get to be visited in dreams to continue to love and care for the people hard to love. To be reminded to pray for them even if I cry of pain for justice, bowing to redemption, giving it all for hope.

Other aspects of my life seem pretty okay but this one's like what Paul said of a thorn. Where His grace meets me at my desperation.

Today I seek for His answers and behold, truth between us has been found and His tender love was relayed tonight. Sweet Jesus. He is gracious.

28 Apr 2017

If you have seen my previous blogs and tweets, you would have known I've been reading 1 Samuel. 

I learned a lot about the lives of Samuel, Saul, David and Jonathan. Yesternight before sleeping I went ahead to reading 2 Samuel. 

At 1:30am, I was sleeping when I heard my Tatay called my name. He used to go out every Thursday night for Brgy duties as a Kagawad so I thought it was him who called me. I said aloud. Po? Then no one answered back but I was very sure I heard my name while I was sleeping. 

I went out of bed to go to parents room. Asked my father if he came by to call me. He said no. He was sleeping and he came early from duties. About 10pm.

I went back to bed and gotten sleep with thoughts why it happened. 

Came morning I realized what happened. Could it have been what I have been praying, that He speaks to me. In visions, in His Word, in dreams. 

I pray that He will speak to me and also He will give me the ability to Hear. 

27 Apr 2017

and no matter how Saul has been so mean to David, to the point the later has to protect his own life, he still had to show his kindness to King Saul. 

“This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord’s anointed.’ See, my father, look at this piece of your robe in my hand! I cut off the corner of your robe but did not kill you. See that there is nothing in my hand to indicate that I am guilty of wrongdoing or rebellion. I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.”

1 Samuel 24:10-13 NIV

http://bible.us/111/1sa.24.10-13.niv

25 Apr 2017

David was anointed to be the King of Israel at young age (1 Samuel 16) but became one only after around 40 more years of King Saul's reign. During this period, series of court services, confusions, fleeing to strongholds from fear of being killed, fighting battles, promises, misjudgements, pretending to be insane (1 Sam 21:13), and inquiring of the Lord has happened in the life of David. 

The Book of Psalm (which I read prior to 1 Samuel) was his joys and lamentations during this period. Wow! 

26 Apr 2017

“So David hid in the field, and when the New Moon feast came, the king sat down to eat. He sat in his customary place by the wall, opposite Jonathan, and Abner sat next to Saul, but David’s place was empty. Saul said nothing that day, for he thought, “Something must have happened to David to make him ceremonially unclean—surely he is unclean.””

1 Samuel 20:24-26 NIV

David did not join Saul in the new moon fellowship (probably dinner) for he has been fleeing from Saul saying 'what did he do, what is his guilt that Saul is seeking His life. When Saul did not find him in his seat on this fellowship, he thought he must have been unclean. 

24 Apr 2017

Desmond: What am I supposed to do now?

Father: Whatever comes next.

18 Mar 2017

Moving on is hard.
For me it is actually getting by.
You get by every second, of every minute, everyday in every week, to every month of each year.
You learn how to live with it.
With the sad times, happy memories.
You learn to live with the scars and victories.
You do what's required of you today,
Work. Eat. Sleep. Wake up.
Maybe at least a little push on what else you can do.
Read. Run. Write.
You get by.
A little each time. Maybe inch by inch.
Til it only ache sometimes. Dream of it sometimes.
Til you forget some specifics. And things get redeemed by new memories.
Maybe keeping memories will work for you,
Or like me, out of sight out of mind.
Whatever works. As simple as just letting time pass by. Just get by.

/ Yan ang nasa isip ko habang nasa tricycle kagabi papuntang bayan. Maalinsangan ang panahon. Kasama ko parents. Hahaha.

16 Mar 2017

Every good thing comes from above. This even the pain and suffering can be a blessing.

11 Mar 2017

I am learning to love the life I walk on even if it isn't the life I have planned for. To be a personal witness of the life that's unfolding before me than be thinking of the life I would have wanted.

There are times I feel sad about people who should have built me up than tear me down. Or how come there exist misunderstandings despite being honest, or some people could speak but is hesitant to do so. And cycles of brokeness ripples to people, plans, prayers that could have been. All I know is that God can work things out despite the burdens we unitentionally put to people or what we receive from them.

I could be to Europe this year, could have given jobs to locals, have health plans, have been more confident, could have started my versions but for now I must be forgiving, more self-controlled, loving. To continue serving the Lord despite the pains from people I trust. To hold my tongue and refrain from passing on hurtful words. After all, we aim for His will, and it is our holiness amd righteousness. We wanted to bear fruit of the Holy Spirit and not merely successes on plans. These are of eternal value.

04 Mar 2017

Be still my soul, be still. Trust in the Lord.

When my soul is troubled within me, I will go to Your sanctuary.