04 July 2016

A single thread in the grand tapestry cannot comprehend the pattern of the whole.

Our problems and trials cannot define our lives. There's just so much in life to be doing and thankful for.

My Dubai experience was part of His plan in my life. I knew I have prayed for it, and He made the best out of my stay there. There were some understanding gaps before, during, and after my stay there but He has shown His ways out of it. It was very short and sweet and though the life I have been planning to go back with has changed massively, I still raise up my hands in praises to our Lord. In all these happenings and changes, my heart is still grateful for all graces He has given me. There were many reasons why I was brought back. Many reasons why I have, this time, chosen not to run away. I wasn't strong. I could be hypocrite if I say that all is well and that I have accepted the things that's been happening but, all the more, these propels me to stay seeking and searching. All the more He shows His power in my life. Maybe someday, some little things will be alright by then. If not, God has His will that I am trusting would be all worth it for my life.

I meditate the words I learned the other day. Do good, be happy, remember my Creator whenever I clean the house, cook for my family, laundry all their clothes, do financial planning. If what I am doing will fit on those, then I am doing just fine despite those single threads in the grand tapestry. I wake up each day with sad thoughts but I do not let myself get up feeling all bad. I wrestle. I ask His comfort. This time, it will be the last. It will be different. I know it. I knew everything that happened in my in the past. More than my personal knowing, my Creator knows all and the details. He sees far more than my nose's perspective, His is infinite. We only know the hurt, He knows why.

Charles Spurgeon once said, 'I would go into the deeps a hundred times to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to have been afflicted, that I might know how to speak a word in season to one that is weary'. True to its essence, these cuts have help me minister to few people I have opportunity to talk with.

These wounds which have been healed are reminders, it is my joy to share the pain of people who are currently in bleeding cos I myself have been in the depths. Then these wounds are now joys which I offer to God.