Currently:
In front of the monitor.
Needing:
Exercise.
Doing:
Googling on 'how to know if people cares' and 'bible verse on knowing if people care'
While there are many entries saying of how to know if people cares (thought catalogs, yahoo answers wiki how-- which I once read through :p), the second search went to entries on verses on caring for others.
The world needs care, attention, and appreciation, while the bible tells us more to give those. It is human need to be heard, feel cared about, and loved. Maslow's hierarchy of needs tells the need for love and belonging after fulfillment of psychological and safety needs. We become healthy when we are nourished and it may come from our families, our friends, the church.
On the other hand, the bible tells our need to express our care to others, as well as looking for our own.
While we can look after our interest, Philippians 2:4 ..do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others, the great paradox of receiving is to give. (Luke 6:38 Give, and you will receive/ Acts 20:35). But we do not give to receive. Only when we find the joy in giving out of loving, then we won't even purpose it for receiving. That's the magic.
We are humans and we definitely need love and care, I feel for those who are in hunger for it and I hope that I could share them the love of God that abounds, and for them to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:18). But it must be living me, as when I feel the need to be loved by others, I have to look unto the author of love which is God. If I find the need is fulfilled only with the love that comes from human, or even the love that comes from self-inspiration, I will despair at its limitations. Unless I find all the love comes from the real source, then only I will be filled and it shall overflow to others.
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Day 31 I'm Staying
I always tell my friends way back then that the reason I write is to express and not to impress. I guess writing helps me as when I look back on old entries, something in my heart remembers the good things and learn from the bad ones. It is like me reading an old self and how I have become. How I changed and is reminded of my roots and grounds.
I am staying here to write my thoughts while I have somehow quit from Facebook and other social media. The problem I see in it is that it just show snapshots and we'd usually put on the best angle of those what happened in our day. It is what others see and we make them think of only what they see. We let them say their opinions about ourselves as when we post, we only take the part/s of our day that's best to be shown in the world. With exceptions of those brokenhearted funny guys posting their faces crying themselves out of pain. Surely, those are also snapshots of the day.
I'd usually think that I could use the prolific social platform to inspire, as sometimes I do, but I realize over the days that during the too much browsing I put myself in pit of mud lurking at other people's lives, honestly sometimes loathing, sometimes in victory over likes on what I put as inspiring, sometimes mad, sometimes aching for what I read. To know how much I can endure, I tried logging out, deactivating the account but soon my mom asked me why I deactivated and started feeling bad because she said she won't put anything in my timeline again. And with my family these days constantly exchanging messages, I could use the platform for communication. So I had to go back. Over time, I began seeing myself feeling bad again about newsfeed when I check it. So I just let my account stay there, checking from day to day if I get any message. It was a discipline.
It says those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. I've known friends who made to this date without Facebook and still happy and we are close as ever. Those people who matter won't mind me not always there, and those who mind, thinks and says things why we are not there should not matter in our lives.
It was very liberating for me to uninstall Facebook and have been able to discipline myself in not making it part of my free time for online browsing. It helps not to know many things about other people's what-I'm-eating-or-doing or basically what-do-they-have-in-mind. Less all the stalking, loathing, and being annoyed or hurt.
This is just a personal note and I am not saying online media is bad. It has many pros. It depends on how we use it. There are many things we can do but not it doesn't mean it is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23
Let us just be on guard. As I am also guarding my thoughts and acts and as much as possible, I don't want to be diving into a place where it won't be of too much help in my growth and progress with Christ.
1 Corinthians 10:12
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.
2 Peter 3:17
Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position.
Colossians 2:8
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.
I am staying here to write my thoughts while I have somehow quit from Facebook and other social media. The problem I see in it is that it just show snapshots and we'd usually put on the best angle of those what happened in our day. It is what others see and we make them think of only what they see. We let them say their opinions about ourselves as when we post, we only take the part/s of our day that's best to be shown in the world. With exceptions of those brokenhearted funny guys posting their faces crying themselves out of pain. Surely, those are also snapshots of the day.
I'd usually think that I could use the prolific social platform to inspire, as sometimes I do, but I realize over the days that during the too much browsing I put myself in pit of mud lurking at other people's lives, honestly sometimes loathing, sometimes in victory over likes on what I put as inspiring, sometimes mad, sometimes aching for what I read. To know how much I can endure, I tried logging out, deactivating the account but soon my mom asked me why I deactivated and started feeling bad because she said she won't put anything in my timeline again. And with my family these days constantly exchanging messages, I could use the platform for communication. So I had to go back. Over time, I began seeing myself feeling bad again about newsfeed when I check it. So I just let my account stay there, checking from day to day if I get any message. It was a discipline.
It says those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. I've known friends who made to this date without Facebook and still happy and we are close as ever. Those people who matter won't mind me not always there, and those who mind, thinks and says things why we are not there should not matter in our lives.
It was very liberating for me to uninstall Facebook and have been able to discipline myself in not making it part of my free time for online browsing. It helps not to know many things about other people's what-I'm-eating-or-doing or basically what-do-they-have-in-mind. Less all the stalking, loathing, and being annoyed or hurt.
This is just a personal note and I am not saying online media is bad. It has many pros. It depends on how we use it. There are many things we can do but not it doesn't mean it is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23
Let us just be on guard. As I am also guarding my thoughts and acts and as much as possible, I don't want to be diving into a place where it won't be of too much help in my growth and progress with Christ.
1 Corinthians 10:12
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.
2 Peter 3:17
Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position.
Colossians 2:8
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Day 30 Hey, It's been a Month
It's been a month of daily writings, since that day. So dear future self, this is for you.
When I came here, it wasn't a plan to leave early. I had high hopes. I had wanted this for so long. Coupled with the work abroad plans was involving in the church. I found myself serving in the church in the photo team, honored to be part of a new lifegroup that's starting. It went from group of 7 to 17 regular members. It was thriving for the glory of God. Many were committing their lives to the ministry.
When I came here, it wasn't a plan to leave early. I had high hopes. I had wanted this for so long. Coupled with the work abroad plans was involving in the church. I found myself serving in the church in the photo team, honored to be part of a new lifegroup that's starting. It went from group of 7 to 17 regular members. It was thriving for the glory of God. Many were committing their lives to the ministry.
Apart from it I was personally dealing with physical pains, my head and back going worse, my pending offs gone to sick leaves, my anger easily flares up with work stress, I had to deal with anxieties, I was personally challenged by kabayans and other culture. I was doing good at work but the dealing with belittlement gets under my skin without their knowing. The workplace wasn't healthy. I couldn't fake it. I wasn't happy.
It was the grace of God that kept me going. I was clueless, I had doubts, but God is at work. I wasn't fully understanding as my thoughts are very much limited of what I know of Him. I was weaker each day but God is working mightily inside me. I long for fulfillment of my spiritual hunger I couldn't explain. I left other social media, not totally putting it off but disciplined myself into only what I extent I can read as some I get heartaches. I stay here and IG as writing helps me remember many good things. I try to write honest blogs that are not superficial. I had sleepless nights, boring days, happy nights, fellowships and too much me time, and awfully missing activities and people I used to have. In all this I kept my hunger for God. Clinging and yielding to Him. I don't want to miss this opportunity as when something was on my backs, it was only for me to look up.
It was the grace of God that kept me going. I was clueless, I had doubts, but God is at work. I wasn't fully understanding as my thoughts are very much limited of what I know of Him. I was weaker each day but God is working mightily inside me. I long for fulfillment of my spiritual hunger I couldn't explain. I left other social media, not totally putting it off but disciplined myself into only what I extent I can read as some I get heartaches. I stay here and IG as writing helps me remember many good things. I try to write honest blogs that are not superficial. I had sleepless nights, boring days, happy nights, fellowships and too much me time, and awfully missing activities and people I used to have. In all this I kept my hunger for God. Clinging and yielding to Him. I don't want to miss this opportunity as when something was on my backs, it was only for me to look up.
I had my share of gaining new friends and praises, also heartbreaking pains of people getting drifted away from me. There were too much questions, have I really gone astray to be left? What have I done wrong. I had praises I never expected. God has answers I wouldn't ever mind. I try not to retaliate but filling myself with words, verses, readings. I pick up encouragement from random people I talk to. God has His unfathomable ways. It is His business to change people, my business is to trust. I know He is faithful to the promise He has for me as I hold on to His words.
Thessalonians 5 - 23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.
Thessalonians 5 - 23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.
Monday, March 28, 2016
Day 29 Caffeine
I've stopped drinking coffee in the past month/s as a discipline. I used to have withdrawals when I tried it long before. I probably know now how to control but to tame my tongue from additional calories and strength of coffee as I've been having panic attacks, I had to see.
The best way to see if you have CUD Caffeine Use Disorder)is to stop using caffeine and see if you have withdrawal symptoms. Many people won’t, but those who do should consider that it may be a viable problem. Or they can accept the fact that they have an addiction.
My office mate knew my case and whenever she drinks coffee, she would ask me if I wanted. I'm telling you, just the smell of it makes me want to take a sip or forget about the whole thing. But this is wholeness, I am trying to cut back on sugar and keeping my nervous system at pace. I was happy yesternight when I saw some progress on what I've been doing. I walked home smiling (slowly).
Because I lack caffeine, I feel sober most of the time. Also less the nervous attacks which is a good thing. Seldom gets night sleeping problems which is another good thing. Ahh but coffee! I miss you! I could cry. Hahaha. But okay fine, I'm taking coffee on Fridays or some other cheat days.
Random thought: Nothing I could say or do for now that could change things. Just give self grace, be composed. Bible says, composure allays great offense. Breathe.
Listening to: Podcast on Jesus Eats with Sinners.
Looking forward to Thursday 6PM.
Eating: Had Indian Dosa for lunch
The best way to see if you have CUD Caffeine Use Disorder)is to stop using caffeine and see if you have withdrawal symptoms. Many people won’t, but those who do should consider that it may be a viable problem. Or they can accept the fact that they have an addiction.
My office mate knew my case and whenever she drinks coffee, she would ask me if I wanted. I'm telling you, just the smell of it makes me want to take a sip or forget about the whole thing. But this is wholeness, I am trying to cut back on sugar and keeping my nervous system at pace. I was happy yesternight when I saw some progress on what I've been doing. I walked home smiling (slowly).
Because I lack caffeine, I feel sober most of the time. Also less the nervous attacks which is a good thing. Seldom gets night sleeping problems which is another good thing. Ahh but coffee! I miss you! I could cry. Hahaha. But okay fine, I'm taking coffee on Fridays or some other cheat days.
Random thought: Nothing I could say or do for now that could change things. Just give self grace, be composed. Bible says, composure allays great offense. Breathe.
Listening to: Podcast on Jesus Eats with Sinners.
Looking forward to Thursday 6PM.
Eating: Had Indian Dosa for lunch
Day 28 Dates and Days
These days, I get confused about the times, days, and
the counting (here in blogging). I lose track most of the time. The original plan was extended but
it was fine with me. Yesternight, we had a little talk about something and ended up sharing God's Word. It was heartwarming
to see everyone is listening to each one.
I am personally joyful with one of our housemates who has began learning more about Him. She continued to go to the other church when we came here until the lifegroup started in September. From around 5 to now 15-20 attendees, God is moving mightily. It is heartbreaking for me to leave them at this time. My only consolation is that God is gracious to use me despite the limited time and He can always raise up new people to be used in the ministry. His works will always continue as I go forth new adventures and new things in life as guided by Him. I've learned so many things in the past months and I am very excited to what God will do in my life.
I am personally joyful with one of our housemates who has began learning more about Him. She continued to go to the other church when we came here until the lifegroup started in September. From around 5 to now 15-20 attendees, God is moving mightily. It is heartbreaking for me to leave them at this time. My only consolation is that God is gracious to use me despite the limited time and He can always raise up new people to be used in the ministry. His works will always continue as I go forth new adventures and new things in life as guided by Him. I've learned so many things in the past months and I am very excited to what God will do in my life.
He has risen. He conquered the world, even the grave.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Day 27 News
I heard the news from family and got so overwhelmed and thankful. My heart cried as I have been praying for it. Really a good news that I even testified it in our lifegroup and asked them for prayers.
God makes things beautiful in its time.
These series of birthdays got me excited though many times I still feel my heart pricks over some other thoughts. Sometimes it is uncontrollable that I get panic attacks and remind myself of God's grace and love. Once I read that we need not run away or even face our fears. Just acknowledge and surrender them to Jesus Christ.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Day 26 Holy Week
It's been hours since I've been meditating the words of Jesus, 'It is done'. Being here in Middle East, the occasion of Holy Week is not celebrated as we all know the reason why.
The good thing is that the event is not a feeling, like the needing to feel it is happening around the corner, but is a reminder of why we have eternal life thru Jesus Christ.
Friday is the weekend off in ME so it was just perfect that Holy Friday falls into usual Friday service.
The worship filled my heart as we celebrated in victory; and commemorate His life that lead to cross in worship. The preaching started with a video (of Passion of Christ) that never fails to get me emotional when shown.
Once I saw Him nailed on the cross, I was at rage and mad at the sight of Him being put on the cross with all the blood and pain. I asked God for forgiveness for hating those Roman soldiers who mocked him, nailed him. In the sobs I ask for comfort from Him.
I have known what pain is, emotional and physical but surely, it is not even at any point of how He suffered.
“...a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. .”
Isaiah 53:3 NIV
Because He was a man of sorrow, He is our comforter. He did it once and for all. It is done. His death on the cross paved for my eternal life thru Him.
Like a rose tramped on the ground, He took the fall, and thought of me. Above all. One the third day, He rose again.
Day 25 Advise to Self
1. Love yourself.
Your love for yourself (and others) stems from the truth that God loves you. Knowing you are loved by your Creator, you will also love yourself. How do you love yourself is actually how you love others, it is actually assumed (Matt 22:39). Loving self doesn't mean we'll become self-centered. It is about caring for your being. Eat right. Exercise. Keep healthy. Keep sheltered and warm. Read. Nurture yourself. Take care of your body (Ephesians 5:29) You have to feel loved by God and that self-love is a product of you taking care of yourself for Him.
2. Give Yourself Grace
Don't blame yourself too much. Learn that when we ask God for forgiveness with a genuine repentance, He forgives and so we should also forgive ourselves. We make ourselves higher than the One who forgives when we don't forgive ourselves. Give yourself grace.
3. Believe in Yourself (through Christ).
Actually, believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13). If you believe too much yourself, your joy or sadness will come only from you, which can lead to feeling highly praised or condemned. Your joy should always come from Jesus Christ. Your beliefs should be rooted on Him. You can only do it with God because apart from Him you can do nothing. Always stay connected.
You are loved, cared for, and secured in the love of God. Regardless people care or not about you, you know yourself and God has created and love and has been ever looking at you. True security and comfort can only be found in Him.
Your love for yourself (and others) stems from the truth that God loves you. Knowing you are loved by your Creator, you will also love yourself. How do you love yourself is actually how you love others, it is actually assumed (Matt 22:39). Loving self doesn't mean we'll become self-centered. It is about caring for your being. Eat right. Exercise. Keep healthy. Keep sheltered and warm. Read. Nurture yourself. Take care of your body (Ephesians 5:29) You have to feel loved by God and that self-love is a product of you taking care of yourself for Him.
2. Give Yourself Grace
Don't blame yourself too much. Learn that when we ask God for forgiveness with a genuine repentance, He forgives and so we should also forgive ourselves. We make ourselves higher than the One who forgives when we don't forgive ourselves. Give yourself grace.
3. Believe in Yourself (through Christ).
Actually, believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13). If you believe too much yourself, your joy or sadness will come only from you, which can lead to feeling highly praised or condemned. Your joy should always come from Jesus Christ. Your beliefs should be rooted on Him. You can only do it with God because apart from Him you can do nothing. Always stay connected.
You are loved, cared for, and secured in the love of God. Regardless people care or not about you, you know yourself and God has created and love and has been ever looking at you. True security and comfort can only be found in Him.
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Day 24 Wisdom and Knowledge
God gives wisdom. It is His gift and He gives to those who ask.
Proverbs 2:6
For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
There is a fine line difference between knowledge and wisdom. In knowing this, we can be able to handle those gifts when we ask of them from God.
It is said that knowledge is the information gained through learning, gathered overtime through study.
I once was asked why I can answer even the trivial things and knows many things, and answered with all humility that I love reading. Reading and studying give us understanding and knowledge. I remember when I was in grade school, my mother would ask me on the assignments and forces (yes, forces haha) me to learn. I remember those lazy afternoons that I had to study. Reading and learning has become a habit to me (thanks mom) that even after my parents have gotten busy in so many things I have acquired a good deal of habit. (God has been working out on my life). Studying has been so easy for me since then. I would not even review and still be able to answer. Sometimes I would think that I could have read the night before so I could have been the highest in score (lols).
Proverbs 2:6
For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
There is a fine line difference between knowledge and wisdom. In knowing this, we can be able to handle those gifts when we ask of them from God.
It is said that knowledge is the information gained through learning, gathered overtime through study.
I once was asked why I can answer even the trivial things and knows many things, and answered with all humility that I love reading. Reading and studying give us understanding and knowledge. I remember when I was in grade school, my mother would ask me on the assignments and forces (yes, forces haha) me to learn. I remember those lazy afternoons that I had to study. Reading and learning has become a habit to me (thanks mom) that even after my parents have gotten busy in so many things I have acquired a good deal of habit. (God has been working out on my life). Studying has been so easy for me since then. I would not even review and still be able to answer. Sometimes I would think that I could have read the night before so I could have been the highest in score (lols).
Please don't get me wrong, this isn't pride. I just don't want to show false humility. I perfectly acknowledge that mom's prayers were answered that I may be at honor roll and these habits were formed because of Him. Only when Jesus changed my life that I have desired wisdom.
The bible instructs is to acquire wisdom. It is supreme (Proverbs 4:7). When Solomon asked for it (1Kgs 3:9), God was pleased (v10)
Wisdom is the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement. It is not acquiring much information and being able to answer quizzes.
As Christians, we can have knowledge on what the bible is, its content, but it is wisdom that tells us when and how to use it. Wisdom acts upon knowledge. The following verse distinguishes wisdom from knowledge which is the attitude I am desiring from God.
James 3:17
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
True faith seeks God for wisdom in times of testing and trials, and decision making. Wisdom isn't knowing many things, but utilizing all we have and acknowledging everything comes from God. Wisdom is attitude, not intellect.
The bible instructs is to acquire wisdom. It is supreme (Proverbs 4:7). When Solomon asked for it (1Kgs 3:9), God was pleased (v10)
Wisdom is the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement. It is not acquiring much information and being able to answer quizzes.
As Christians, we can have knowledge on what the bible is, its content, but it is wisdom that tells us when and how to use it. Wisdom acts upon knowledge. The following verse distinguishes wisdom from knowledge which is the attitude I am desiring from God.
James 3:17
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
True faith seeks God for wisdom in times of testing and trials, and decision making. Wisdom isn't knowing many things, but utilizing all we have and acknowledging everything comes from God. Wisdom is attitude, not intellect.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Day 23 Endurance
Getting all more physically exhausted and less the usual sleep so I had to stay in bed today. My period has also stopped for a while and when it went through, it was just sort of spotting. I've been pushing myself to some limits in the past days, many times I'd almost passed out but so far everything's been worth it. Those parts were like enduring testings and trials in life. It has been a metaphor for me that enduring physical pains through discipline is persistence to our spirit. Like running the Christian marathon to faithfulness.
James 1: 2-4 says 'Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
As our bodies are being tested to agility through painstaking disciplines (fasting, exercising, food portion control, taming tongue), our faith is tested when we face different trials. How do we respond to testing is what it is. Our persistence despite delays and hurts are produced in enduring sickness and diseases, and enduring the world. It must not be on our own alone though, we need something more powerful than our will to endure this, and that's the work of the glory-strength that God gives.
Colossians 1:11-12 MSG 11 We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul - not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, 12 thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.
That's how discipline becomes joyful, as stated in James 1:2 when it says consider if pure joy. When we get that kind of strength that God gives and overflows in us.
We can only run the race of life buy focusing ourselves to Jesus. The author and finisher of our faith.
James 1: 2-4 says 'Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
As our bodies are being tested to agility through painstaking disciplines (fasting, exercising, food portion control, taming tongue), our faith is tested when we face different trials. How do we respond to testing is what it is. Our persistence despite delays and hurts are produced in enduring sickness and diseases, and enduring the world. It must not be on our own alone though, we need something more powerful than our will to endure this, and that's the work of the glory-strength that God gives.
Colossians 1:11-12 MSG 11 We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul - not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, 12 thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.
That's how discipline becomes joyful, as stated in James 1:2 when it says consider if pure joy. When we get that kind of strength that God gives and overflows in us.
We can only run the race of life buy focusing ourselves to Jesus. The author and finisher of our faith.
Day 22 Finding God's Will
Growing up, I would always hear about God's will. For me, it used to be like some kind of a big future thing. A destination. A settlement. Specifics. Maybe He wants me to be a missionary in South Africa, be a pastor in China, win a community for Christ, or marry the Christian boyfriend I would have and raise a Christian family serving altogether in one church.
If that's what I think His will is, I am not yet there. I would have been frustrated by now if I had not know His revelations because I am still single, I am yet to become a pastor, I am still in my desire that my whole family would go to church altogether.
Is it actually seeking Him first to know His will, not seeking His will to know Him.
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV
If that's what I think His will is, it will lead to my misunderstanding on God's will and I would regret my decisions when I fail on something I prayed and thought was the will for me.
This topic was very resilient that one Sunday not so long ago, I had to ask an elder some guidance regarding my current situation then, of a different concern. Along our conversation, it lead to a question with "You don't know God's will?". It hit me. I just said I knew it already but after that, I have kept contemplating. What do I know of it. Have I been doing things that will lead me to that "will" He has for me. What's really God's will for my life.
This topic was very resilient that one Sunday not so long ago, I had to ask an elder some guidance regarding my current situation then, of a different concern. Along our conversation, it lead to a question with "You don't know God's will?". It hit me. I just said I knew it already but after that, I have kept contemplating. What do I know of it. Have I been doing things that will lead me to that "will" He has for me. What's really God's will for my life.
I just know that God's will is in the bible. But what does it really mean? Is it something that I'd look for passages that would strike me, and say ahhh, this is specifically for me and His will for my life. I need to go to my Nineveh (thinks of my Nineveh) and plan the trip so I won't be eaten by big fish.
(Although there will be cases that I might have to do so based from my calling that will unfold with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.)
I was always clueless and always trying to get into that 'will' then. In all these misunderstandings God has been gracious, He loves me more than I think He does. He wants me seeking Him first, and all these things (my desires based on the want to know His will) shall be added into my life.
We are free from the burden of trying to discover God’s will ahead of time. It is not a maze for us to perfectly navigate in order to reach our end goal, but instead, God desires for us to trust Him with all of the twists and turns.
God is sovereign over my life. Yes, He has specific plans for my future, but He does not expect me to find out the details of His plan before I get there. So this whole idea of finding God’s will for my life has been me searching for something God does not want to reveal.
Because we do not know, we will trust the One who holds it. If we fully know what His will is, we would probably just sit back and take all necessary paths to be there. Trust would be of less essence. But because we do not know what lies ahead, we keep on trusting God with our future, with what's going to happen when we commit our plans and desires to Him.
The bible is our guide to knowing who He is, what He wants us to be, and how He saved us to be with Him, and in this, our decisions will be based from His words. The bible changes our thoughts, and so when we have renewed minds, all our ways would depend on God's word. We wouldn't decide on anything that's against what the bible says. If we pray for wisdom that is says in Proverbs and James, we can decide with confidence as He gives us the Spirit to help us in anything we would pursue, regardless of its outcome. Knowing there is peace is important. Isn't it wisdom to know that even if our plans won't succeed, we can still choose to depend God for comfort, love, and direction? There's still life we can enjoy.
We are free from the burden of trying to discover God’s will ahead of time. It is not a maze for us to perfectly navigate in order to reach our end goal, but instead, God desires for us to trust Him with all of the twists and turns.
God is sovereign over my life. Yes, He has specific plans for my future, but He does not expect me to find out the details of His plan before I get there. So this whole idea of finding God’s will for my life has been me searching for something God does not want to reveal.
Because we do not know, we will trust the One who holds it. If we fully know what His will is, we would probably just sit back and take all necessary paths to be there. Trust would be of less essence. But because we do not know what lies ahead, we keep on trusting God with our future, with what's going to happen when we commit our plans and desires to Him.
The bible is our guide to knowing who He is, what He wants us to be, and how He saved us to be with Him, and in this, our decisions will be based from His words. The bible changes our thoughts, and so when we have renewed minds, all our ways would depend on God's word. We wouldn't decide on anything that's against what the bible says. If we pray for wisdom that is says in Proverbs and James, we can decide with confidence as He gives us the Spirit to help us in anything we would pursue, regardless of its outcome. Knowing there is peace is important. Isn't it wisdom to know that even if our plans won't succeed, we can still choose to depend God for comfort, love, and direction? There's still life we can enjoy.
Is it actually seeking Him first to know His will, not seeking His will to know Him.
No matter what your future plans are, God wants you to seek and glorify Him right now. Simply put, God’s will is your growth to be like Christ and glorify Him in all things.
If you'd ask me what's the will of God in my life right now, it is to live in holiness as He is holy. God wants us to seek Him, to trust in Him. To believe even without seeing. To be faithful, even without grasping full understanding. He wants us to live everyday giving God all the glory, to small things like whether we eat or drink, even to acknowledging Him, putting Him first and praying for guidance for big decisions in our lives.
God's will is not a mystery to be solved but a road to be traveled.
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Day 21
When I graduated from college I wanted to do something big and unplanned (as I have always been a regular planner). Like going out in the world to find what's in there. But because of responsibilities, I had to stay in PH. I accepted the fact that it can wait. All those years working in PH, I have become contented until I had the chance after 10 years to see what's on the other side of the world. I wanted to travel, explore. I get amazed at different cultures, see the vastness of the world. At 26, I started with physical fitness in preparation of my travels. I went running, hiking, and had the chance to go on mission trips. Traveling changes us, our thinking, and how we see people and the world and believe that there's time for everything.
But life is not like that for many of us, and we would usually sit in the middle of dreaming and reality. We need to work, we have responsibilities, we have ministries, together with those wanderlust desires.
The movie Into the Wild and Wild inspired me on the idea of wanderlust and explorations. It then became dream, like in the movies or series, like a hipster thing (I said I'd stop using the word). After seeing the movie, I went out from the apartment at night, into the streets, and bring food to those who live on the streets. It was fun.
So I went to Dubai to see what's here.
The new American Dream includes quitting your job for a few years and traveling the world to find yourself and get clarity on life. Travel, for some of us, has come to represent a life of carefree adventure that promises more than it can possibly deliver.
Being wanderlust has become part of me but as said, it isn't all abut being able to travel. It is about searching while having an attitude of contentment while we wait as we give God the glory in all we do. If we can do ministry in places we go, the better.
So before you let your wanderlust drive you to quit your job, get a new tattoo or buy a one way ticket to somewhere exotic, spend some time listening to what your life might be saying. It might be telling you something you need to hear.
So with the above thoughts, I had to carefully plan, coupled with praying, plus asking for wisdom my stay in Dubai. It took months of these three when I feel deciding on my current situation while I continue to humbly be used in the lifegroup. I was reminded of wisdom. Isn't it wisdom that you asked for from God that you realized many things there? Coming to know who you are and what you can do and that at last you see what's out there. When you asked that kind of wisdom from James 1, you should believe it.
I guess this is the time of giving up after the search and onto another life adventure. (Ecclesiastes 3:6). I sincerely thank God for all the learnings. It hasn't been the journey like in the movies, but this is all worth it.
This is who I am. It is God's gift. Remember to always pitch you tent wherever you go. Build an altar for the Lord and worship Him wherever He brings you.
So I went to Dubai to see what's here.
The new American Dream includes quitting your job for a few years and traveling the world to find yourself and get clarity on life. Travel, for some of us, has come to represent a life of carefree adventure that promises more than it can possibly deliver.
Being wanderlust has become part of me but as said, it isn't all abut being able to travel. It is about searching while having an attitude of contentment while we wait as we give God the glory in all we do. If we can do ministry in places we go, the better.
So before you let your wanderlust drive you to quit your job, get a new tattoo or buy a one way ticket to somewhere exotic, spend some time listening to what your life might be saying. It might be telling you something you need to hear.
So with the above thoughts, I had to carefully plan, coupled with praying, plus asking for wisdom my stay in Dubai. It took months of these three when I feel deciding on my current situation while I continue to humbly be used in the lifegroup. I was reminded of wisdom. Isn't it wisdom that you asked for from God that you realized many things there? Coming to know who you are and what you can do and that at last you see what's out there. When you asked that kind of wisdom from James 1, you should believe it.
I guess this is the time of giving up after the search and onto another life adventure. (Ecclesiastes 3:6). I sincerely thank God for all the learnings. It hasn't been the journey like in the movies, but this is all worth it.
This is who I am. It is God's gift. Remember to always pitch you tent wherever you go. Build an altar for the Lord and worship Him wherever He brings you.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Day 20 On Drinking
There was a time in my life when there were too many drunk days and hangovers. I was already attending the church and even working on the ministry. I had my personal reasons that I won't use to justify my doings, but this to share how God moved into my life.
My drinking was wrong not because it was sin in the eyes of the church but because I drink and get drunk with wrong motives. I drink at friend's houses, I got drunk by the beach, had hangovers from overnight session with cousins, tasted different liquors in those hiking nights. I buy beers in the 24-hr stores and drink in the comfort room of our boarding house (I live with Christian housemates so I keep it in my cabinet). All with bitterness and anger in my heart.
But God was gracious, I woke up one day with revelations. He used people, used the church, used His word for me to learn. It took time. In my journey to healing, God showed me His love, His holiness that made the difference in my life. He didn't pointed it out saying I am not worthy of the calling or I am sinning because of my drinking. He just simply loved me and moved as I surrender this concern to God. I was wrong, that I admitted. He was gracious.
If you will ask me if drinking wine and beer is sin, I will say no. It depends on why and how you drink it. The bible celebrates events with wine, as with wedding at Cana, the fermented drink offering in the old Testament (Numbers 28:7). Even consider wine as blessings (Deut 7:13), (Proverbs 3:10).
The bible didn't say no to wine and drinking What is wrong is drunkenness, being enslaved to wine, and alcoholism. (Titus 2:3)
Now, if we occasionaly drink wine, we should be careful not to fall even if we are standing firm (1 Cor 10:12) as wine is a mocker and beer, a brawler. (Proverbs 20:1). Drink but be warned of its potential misuse. There is a fine line between using it for celebrations and communion (drinking to remember) to using it to help ease pains (drinking to forget)
When we strip away all the man-made clutter that dims the Gospel, the full glory of Jesus shines much brighter. A good chunk of the dying world that’s rejected Christianity hasn’t said no to Jesus, but no to a pharisaical version of Him. Some people have been turned off by the Gospel because they’ve thought that becoming a Christ-follower meant giving up having a beer with your friends after work. If this is the “good news” we preach, then the true beauty of a crucified and risen King will become covered in the fog of a man-made, pharisaical “don’t drink” gospel.
Now am I drinking? No, not because of my religion but because I don't see a need for it in my desires to know Him more. I have been there and although I know I have been disciplined, I wouldn't want to put myself into the trap of its mockery, esp when I go thru some life trials. I will have to ask myself if time comes I will be asked to drink, will I be giving God glory if I take this? The bible says, wheter we eat or drink, we should do it for God's glory. All things are permissible but will it be necessary to have..one..glass.
I won't use wine to forget pains (as once I believed the hearsay it is a cure), but if I shall drink wine, it will be for a celebratory toast or drink, and communion.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Day 19 Commitment
When I committed my life to Christ when I was in Grade 6, my prayer was Psalm 51:10. A pure heart. Being nearing two decades since then I've been to different churches, heard many teachings, learned many doctrines - in all this, God has all been there to see me through. His grace abounds and His love overflows. After that commitment, I had been aware that He never stopped looking at me in all my ways. He loved me before that commitment, loved me too long in the past, and will love me without end. Because of this love, I didn't want to break His heart. My desire to holiness is just a product of knowing He loves me everlasting.
He has directed my paths and even allowed my uturns in times I am almost about to be ruined. His Spirit always led me into knowing truths. Many seasons and desperations came and went about but all the more He shows Himself loving as well as holy.
Far more than just being in the church, being Christian is being Christ-like.
Just start. Just trust. Just commit our lives to Christ.
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Day 18 Discipline
So it happened again tonight. My third black out from starting physical fitness. I didn't take note that the last time I had my run was probably nine months ago. My walks weren't enough. Tonight I relearned to take it slow again. As much as I thought I could do it, my will did not suffice the preparation I have to endure to get back again.
Start slow, no matter how much you've gone through before. Start slow til your body knows it can.
It takes time. Nothing worthwile can happen overnight. It takes days and weeks if we want something good so bad (yes good so bad)
It should be wholly. We cannot outexercise a bad diet. Eat right. Food portion control. Know when it is enough.
It should be wholly. As we continue to discipline our bodies, let's not forget to feed our souls, our spirits.
The bible tells us we should be the one controling our bodies and not our bodies (whatever it hungers from--sugar,salt) controling us. 1 Cor 9:27. I know this is going to be a long journey again.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Day 17 Tired
Last night I slept with my all day clothes. I was too exhausted I didn't even bother to get up and change after I went to bed at 8. The past days were tiring and sleepless. When we have not gotten rest, we become weary and our emotions get loose. That's how it was last night. The past days were also at my spiritual highs and as much as I wanted it an everyday state, it isn't so yesterday. Then this paragraphs I read helped me.
The reality of human life is that there will be some days that aren’t mountaintop experiences. Some days will be filled with conflict, homework, errands, laundry, loss, pain, bitterness and—hardest of all—apathy. I wish every day were filled with great community, exciting missions work, christian concerts and prayer gatherings. But the truth is, most of our lives are spent somewhere between these two realities. Most days we get a little of both. (Relevant Mag)
Being a Christian has little to do with how we feel, but everything to do with God’s covenant with us.
The sign of an authentic relationship with God is that it allows itself to change over time. In any relationship, we have to adapt and fight to overcome new challenges. If we try to cling to how it was at the beginning, we will never grow in actual relationship. The truth of God’s unconditional love for us never changes, but we have to let that truth be expressed differently as needed in different seasons. (Relevant Mag)
Being a Christian has little to do with how we feel, but everything to do with God’s covenant with us.
The sign of an authentic relationship with God is that it allows itself to change over time. In any relationship, we have to adapt and fight to overcome new challenges. If we try to cling to how it was at the beginning, we will never grow in actual relationship. The truth of God’s unconditional love for us never changes, but we have to let that truth be expressed differently as needed in different seasons. (Relevant Mag)
Andddd.
I've been eating Indian and Pakistani food that my officemate said I am the only Filipino she knows who eat like one of them.
Day 16 The Redemption of Grace
Grace was name that I had to ask God healing from. For so many years, I prayed for redemption from that word.
I read one story about grace. Tammy helps unwed mothers and takes good care of them in a home where they are fed and loved. She met Sara, one of the residents, who has been selling her body to feed her heroin habit, Tammy was forced to choose between offering some sort of practical assistance, and kicking Sara out of the program. Tammy made a deal with Sara that she would personally pay for Sara’s heroin habit, if Sara would refrain from prostituting herself. Tammy reasoned that if she could remove the guilt and shame associated with prostitution, Sara might have a chance of reestablishing her value, thereby gaining the strength to overcome her habit.
While walking this morning, I was so moved. My heart began crying out of love that I felt from Jesus. Their story might be too much compared to my experience but this grace is one of the moving stories on how God can give grace to us. God accepted me even before I came to Him. He loved me despite my sins. When I entered the church, He used me in His ministry despite my stubbornness. Like Sara, I had my withdrawals, I would cry myself to sleep. But God - He gave me home and identity. My transformation wasn't overnight or over the weekend. It took many years of finding His love has always been there every single time. It was grace.
I read one story about grace. Tammy helps unwed mothers and takes good care of them in a home where they are fed and loved. She met Sara, one of the residents, who has been selling her body to feed her heroin habit, Tammy was forced to choose between offering some sort of practical assistance, and kicking Sara out of the program. Tammy made a deal with Sara that she would personally pay for Sara’s heroin habit, if Sara would refrain from prostituting herself. Tammy reasoned that if she could remove the guilt and shame associated with prostitution, Sara might have a chance of reestablishing her value, thereby gaining the strength to overcome her habit.
While walking this morning, I was so moved. My heart began crying out of love that I felt from Jesus. Their story might be too much compared to my experience but this grace is one of the moving stories on how God can give grace to us. God accepted me even before I came to Him. He loved me despite my sins. When I entered the church, He used me in His ministry despite my stubbornness. Like Sara, I had my withdrawals, I would cry myself to sleep. But God - He gave me home and identity. My transformation wasn't overnight or over the weekend. It took many years of finding His love has always been there every single time. It was grace.
Currently listening to: Only Grace by Matthew West
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Day 14 New Wineskin
Sometimes, if not most of the time, our responses to pain and difficulty or losing relationships is getting something new; new clothes, new shoes, new look, even new relationships. While those would work, we need not hurry to get them. Instead, let the pain mold you to be a new wineskin for the new wine.
View them as an opportunity to remove all that we have to be able to gain the new things in life. If we wanted that new wine be poured to us and not burst, we have to be in new wineskin.
“And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.””
Mark 2:22 NIV
Friday, March 11, 2016
Day 13 What do I want
What do you want me to do? Mark 10:51
From prayers of mending relationships, to living my dream, my prayers has now become asking for Him to be my frame, Him be my foundation, that I may always be attached to the Great Vine, that He would be my core so that whatever life brings, I will be steadfast, I will not be shaken.
The message of God is moving and very much alive, moreover in times of pain. There are things we can only receive through exquisite pain that comes from God.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Day 12 Present Suffering
Our present suffering cannot compare to the glory and joy that's coming.
Last Monday, I was given the honor to share about Stewardship of Time in our lifegroup and one of the main points I shared on how to use time was about 'thinking about eternal significance' in whatever circumstance we have.
Paul writes
Rom 8:18 NIV—I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that the glory that will be revealed in us.
Last Monday, I was given the honor to share about Stewardship of Time in our lifegroup and one of the main points I shared on how to use time was about 'thinking about eternal significance' in whatever circumstance we have.
Paul writes
Rom 8:18 NIV—I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that the glory that will be revealed in us.
The passage talks about the future eternal glory that will come. Our resurrection with Christ; which we eagerly await. In our earthly life, our focus should always be eternal life with Christ. We may sometimes forget about it, so the bible tells us to 'remember'. For in whatever circumstance we are in, in full or hunger, in joy or famine, everything should always point to Christ. Thanking Him for everything as we continually surrender our lives to God.
I like the song Before the Morning by Josh Wilson and so as the movie Shawshank Redemption.
During the times of troubles and heartaches, we see life in a limited distance. But life is not a snapshot as the song goes. The big picture of our life is eternity past and eternity future. Where the later we await to obtain. We can acquire that eternal life through Jesus Christ, who endured the world, endured suffering.
In the movie Shawshank Redemption, the guy who was imprisoned awaited for his hope of a good life outside the jail. All the hours, days, weeks, years of planning (to escape; it's just a story) lead him to do things subtly, getting favors and all, doing good) gave him hope despite all those hardships. Afterall he got his freedom and it was shown he wasn't the suspect of the crime. He was just drunk then. The movie was very clever.
I like the song Before the Morning by Josh Wilson and so as the movie Shawshank Redemption.
During the times of troubles and heartaches, we see life in a limited distance. But life is not a snapshot as the song goes. The big picture of our life is eternity past and eternity future. Where the later we await to obtain. We can acquire that eternal life through Jesus Christ, who endured the world, endured suffering.
In the movie Shawshank Redemption, the guy who was imprisoned awaited for his hope of a good life outside the jail. All the hours, days, weeks, years of planning (to escape; it's just a story) lead him to do things subtly, getting favors and all, doing good) gave him hope despite all those hardships. Afterall he got his freedom and it was shown he wasn't the suspect of the crime. He was just drunk then. The movie was very clever.
Let us allow God to have complete liberty in our lives as we fully submit to Him, everything. Before God’s message can liberate other people, His liberation must first be real in us.
The Grace to the Humble
I used to walk alone going to and back from office. It takes about 40-50 minutes depending on my strength. One particular afternoon, an officemate walked with me. Just few steps away from office, she saw 5 dirhams on the road and quickly held it. There wasn't any other people in the area and so she took it. I thought, if I was alone, I could have gotten it. I shoo my thoughts away and smiled at it. Very inappropriate thoughts. Haha!
This morning, upon finishing a teaching about humility and grace, I started to pray on my way to office asking God for forgiveness for everything I've done wrong. As I bow down my head (yes, while walking, looking at the road floors) I saw 100 dirhams! I held it and checked the roads, there was a group of people walking towards the other area. I waited for some time (and looked for signs that someone is trying to find something. None. Walking towards office, I also try to check my back for any signs til I reached office. It was for me! :)
James (in 4) reminded us about Proverbs 3:34, that God gives grace to the humble. I am not saying that the 100 dirhams was because of the humility I showed bowing down. It was just an extra experience for me as I take the step on surrendering God everything this morning.
From the podcast I heard it says "I'm sure there's anger, I'm sure there's bitterness", but when we submit out lives to God; telling Him all that we are and the things we just can't be at that moment, telling Him how much we can only endure, and our tendencies to take matters into our hands, get angry, embittered; that we are not okay." He will be our Savior and deliver us. He is very gracious to the humble. Accepting before Him that we are not okay and acknowledging He is there to help us is a sign of humility.
This morning, upon finishing a teaching about humility and grace, I started to pray on my way to office asking God for forgiveness for everything I've done wrong. As I bow down my head (yes, while walking, looking at the road floors) I saw 100 dirhams! I held it and checked the roads, there was a group of people walking towards the other area. I waited for some time (and looked for signs that someone is trying to find something. None. Walking towards office, I also try to check my back for any signs til I reached office. It was for me! :)
James (in 4) reminded us about Proverbs 3:34, that God gives grace to the humble. I am not saying that the 100 dirhams was because of the humility I showed bowing down. It was just an extra experience for me as I take the step on surrendering God everything this morning.
From the podcast I heard it says "I'm sure there's anger, I'm sure there's bitterness", but when we submit out lives to God; telling Him all that we are and the things we just can't be at that moment, telling Him how much we can only endure, and our tendencies to take matters into our hands, get angry, embittered; that we are not okay." He will be our Savior and deliver us. He is very gracious to the humble. Accepting before Him that we are not okay and acknowledging He is there to help us is a sign of humility.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Day 10
It's time that I stop counting the days and accept that some things in life are how it has been decided.
What's important is my response to God. Thank You Lord for everything and I surrender all. You hold me together and in You, I live, and move, and have my being.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Day 9
'It has been figured out', my leader said in front of us after the talk. She has been wanting to ask me if my time here has been fruitful. Barely a year. 'I know now the answer', she said. 'You inspire us'
My heart was overwhelmed during the sharing of what each has learned. It was also aching to know I will leave them. I received praises I humbly all give to God. 'I don't deserve those but I give Him all the glory', I continued. It was heartbreaking and liberating.
She mentioned the story of the life of Abraham, the pitching of the tent. Wherever Abraham goes, he serves faithfully and it becomes fruitful. I seconded the motion. I was reminded of one of my readings.
“So Abram went to live near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, where he pitched his tents. There he built an altar to the Lord.”
Genesis 13:18 NIV
Abraham is obedient when God asks Him to leave certain places to go to another place, whenever he pitches his tent, he would worship God, he would built an altar.
Our home is heaven. We only pitch our tents to places we go. In every place, we must pitch our tent, which means we should always worship God. That's our highest calling.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Day 8
Last night, I was awaken by cramps 2-3 times. By 1:30 AM I awoke as I felt I was to get up already for work ( I would thank God if I wake up at 5 and will still have an hour more to sleep but 1:30AM?! I just gotten sleep!.I also had dreams I couldn't figure out. I am okay, maybe it's just my body feeling anxious for the hard days. It is normal though. It was better than feeling numb and all would just explode.
Though outwardly I am wasting away, yet inwardly I am being renewed day by day. It wasn't all that bad. Sometimes I have to go through sufferings to reach my journey to contentment to whatever i gain or lose in life. I just know that in all these, whether joy or suffering, I must always show my religion, the religion of Christ-likeness. I had my share of wrongs and mistakes and or it might be just ways for me to learn, but the important thing is what will my response be to all these sufferings.
I don't know how long should I be writing about this.
Cont.. after posting this, I found the ff paragraphs from my online reading or utmost.org
The things we try to avoid and fight against— tribulation, suffering, and persecution— are the very things that produce abundant joy in us. “We are more than conquerors through Him” “in all these things”; not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. A saint doesn’t know the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it. Paul said, “I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation” (2 Corinthians 7:4).
The undiminished radiance, which is the result of abundant joy, is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can change. And the experiences of life, whether they are everyday events or terrifying ones, are powerless to “separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).
I should be able to prove my religion in the valley, not just in the city.
Though outwardly I am wasting away, yet inwardly I am being renewed day by day. It wasn't all that bad. Sometimes I have to go through sufferings to reach my journey to contentment to whatever i gain or lose in life. I just know that in all these, whether joy or suffering, I must always show my religion, the religion of Christ-likeness. I had my share of wrongs and mistakes and or it might be just ways for me to learn, but the important thing is what will my response be to all these sufferings.
I don't know how long should I be writing about this.
Cont.. after posting this, I found the ff paragraphs from my online reading or utmost.org
The things we try to avoid and fight against— tribulation, suffering, and persecution— are the very things that produce abundant joy in us. “We are more than conquerors through Him” “in all these things”; not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. A saint doesn’t know the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it. Paul said, “I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation” (2 Corinthians 7:4).
The undiminished radiance, which is the result of abundant joy, is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can change. And the experiences of life, whether they are everyday events or terrifying ones, are powerless to “separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).
I should be able to prove my religion in the valley, not just in the city.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Day 7
Ahh, it has been a week and I feel physically weaker each day. Yesterday, I didn't eat the whole day, just took some milk and nuts while packing some things. I was only able to eat when I had to see my college friends and gave me food.
I know much have changed. I had this kind of experience before and I know things have gotten different. I would drink off the pain, visit friend's houses who allows me to drink, get so wasted, go to work, I can even train people on the system without them knowing I'm still at hangover.
During the times of weakness, I would feed myself with verses, paragraphs and chapters. I would listen to music or download movies. Over the days, I feel i am inside a shell. In the facade I am okay but deep inside, the sense of sadness bothers me everytime. The thought that God can make things beautiful, as I go through process, gives me hope. I don't have to say I am happy, tell myself I am as I do know that during the process, I will be molded to sanctification. It is the response that I do with this situation that shall count, regardless I win or totally lose somethings or even people in my life.
I know much have changed. I had this kind of experience before and I know things have gotten different. I would drink off the pain, visit friend's houses who allows me to drink, get so wasted, go to work, I can even train people on the system without them knowing I'm still at hangover.
During the times of weakness, I would feed myself with verses, paragraphs and chapters. I would listen to music or download movies. Over the days, I feel i am inside a shell. In the facade I am okay but deep inside, the sense of sadness bothers me everytime. The thought that God can make things beautiful, as I go through process, gives me hope. I don't have to say I am happy, tell myself I am as I do know that during the process, I will be molded to sanctification. It is the response that I do with this situation that shall count, regardless I win or totally lose somethings or even people in my life.
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Day 6
These days, studying (more than just reading) the Word of God gives me wonders of all the things He is. I have been praying that (1)I may unlearn all the things I have learned so i can learn them through His personal revelations via Holy Spirit through personal bible study and seeking of His Word and (2) establish truths I have learned from the teachings I have heard. I wish to blog the things I've been learning. This, not to use against people as becoming superior but to (1) for personal growth as in the end, I will come before Him personally and (2) to share these to those who are just starting and going through circumstances from my circle of ministry.
There have been numerous times I would quote Lamentations 3:22,
Lamentations 3:22-23New International Version (NIV)
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Today I read the whole chapter, from where the verse was preceded by and its continuation. Its first paragraphs was about the laments of Jeremiah over the ruins of Jerusalem and this points out to that verse that his hope lies in the remembering (at verse 20) and calling to mind (being reminded ourselves about) that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases and His mercies are new every morning. Verse prior to that was his humility in acknowledging all that he has done wrong, all his transgressions.
In this, I/we must continually remind ourselves that God's love is steadfast, unending, unceasing. As because He actually is. It is where our hope lies that we can be forgiven whenever we remember our sins before Him (in true and genuine repentance). The promise I find in the next verses is that God is good to those who wait for Him (not taking matters into our own hands), to those who seek Him. Deliverance (salvation), justice, will come from the Lord and not ours. We can even give our cheeks to the one who strikes as He will be the one who will justify us and not ourselves against them.
Repent. Mourn. Remember: God is always compassionate, He is abounding in steadfast love.Wait for the Lord.
There have been numerous times I would quote Lamentations 3:22,
Lamentations 3:22-23New International Version (NIV)
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Today I read the whole chapter, from where the verse was preceded by and its continuation. Its first paragraphs was about the laments of Jeremiah over the ruins of Jerusalem and this points out to that verse that his hope lies in the remembering (at verse 20) and calling to mind (being reminded ourselves about) that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases and His mercies are new every morning. Verse prior to that was his humility in acknowledging all that he has done wrong, all his transgressions.
In this, I/we must continually remind ourselves that God's love is steadfast, unending, unceasing. As because He actually is. It is where our hope lies that we can be forgiven whenever we remember our sins before Him (in true and genuine repentance). The promise I find in the next verses is that God is good to those who wait for Him (not taking matters into our own hands), to those who seek Him. Deliverance (salvation), justice, will come from the Lord and not ours. We can even give our cheeks to the one who strikes as He will be the one who will justify us and not ourselves against them.
Repent. Mourn. Remember: God is always compassionate, He is abounding in steadfast love.Wait for the Lord.
Day 5
And I've written a lengthy last lines. I don't say final things. I surrender everything to my Creator.
Today the church went to Zabeel Park and the theme was about healthy living. Inspiring, and I entered the biggest loser contest despite it being two months and I am already in PH by the time of final weigh ins.
I figured I gained around 6 kilograms since I came here. That was fast.
And to share what I've read 'I don’t need to change all my emotions to happiness, but I want God to remold my core so that regardless of my circumstances, thoughts and feelings, I know He never changes and my identity in Christ remains the same. RM
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Day 4
Day 4. No Coffee. I miss you. I've been trying to focus myself on work, and rest so I could forget about you. It has been hard in the past days since I've been taking you everyday before.
So we received the good news that we won't have Saturdays anymore. Good! I will have another month of four 2-day weekends. Happy for my officemates also and will be happy leaving them with such good situation. Everyone's working hard and 2 days off will be great.
So the days I will tender for work here will be less than-- days.
I still find myself tearing at times. Yesterday I had a talk with an old friend, just catching up and it helped me a lot.
I desire to unlearn the many things I know about God so I can again personally relearn them. How big and holy He is and that our main focus and longing in life is God. He is the God of the universe. He is also the God of my heart. We must not just read the bible but study it and I desire that hunger for His revelations.
So we received the good news that we won't have Saturdays anymore. Good! I will have another month of four 2-day weekends. Happy for my officemates also and will be happy leaving them with such good situation. Everyone's working hard and 2 days off will be great.
So the days I will tender for work here will be less than-- days.
I still find myself tearing at times. Yesterday I had a talk with an old friend, just catching up and it helped me a lot.
I desire to unlearn the many things I know about God so I can again personally relearn them. How big and holy He is and that our main focus and longing in life is God. He is the God of the universe. He is also the God of my heart. We must not just read the bible but study it and I desire that hunger for His revelations.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Day 3
Day 3. Surprisingly, everyone's telling me that it's good that I am already going home. They wish they could too. I was ready to hear whys and the usual urges to stay here but no, they were happy about my decision.
I would stay home for a while, keep up with my family and have some fresh start, I could redo the garden like I used to when I planned to go home 3 years ago from city works. I don't know what's next but this would be my opportunity to wait on God. This time, it is going to be different.
The past 3 days were hard and I always catch myself asking, shedding tears, sad, but I have to go on and move on. In Christ, I live and move and breathe and have my being.
I would stay home for a while, keep up with my family and have some fresh start, I could redo the garden like I used to when I planned to go home 3 years ago from city works. I don't know what's next but this would be my opportunity to wait on God. This time, it is going to be different.
The past 3 days were hard and I always catch myself asking, shedding tears, sad, but I have to go on and move on. In Christ, I live and move and breathe and have my being.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Day 2
I wasn't able to go to fellowship last night because of painful headache. I thought sleeping it off at six would help but when I woke up at 8, the pain still pierces. I took medicines that's for colds so I got so drowsy and fell asleep til 6am this morning.
I did't eat but oats. There weree donuts my housemates brought from last night that I didn't take.
Too many questions running on my mind but I'm choosing to sigh them out.
The Word of God inflicts hurt on us more than sin ever could, because sin dulls our senses. But this intensifies our sensitivities to the point that this hurt produced by Jesus is the most exquisite pain conceivable.
I did't eat but oats. There weree donuts my housemates brought from last night that I didn't take.
Too many questions running on my mind but I'm choosing to sigh them out.
The Word of God inflicts hurt on us more than sin ever could, because sin dulls our senses. But this intensifies our sensitivities to the point that this hurt produced by Jesus is the most exquisite pain conceivable.
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