Ahh, it has been a week and I feel physically weaker each day. Yesterday, I didn't eat the whole day, just took some milk and nuts while packing some things. I was only able to eat when I had to see my college friends and gave me food.
I know much have changed. I had this kind of experience before and I know things have gotten different. I would drink off the pain, visit friend's houses who allows me to drink, get so wasted, go to work, I can even train people on the system without them knowing I'm still at hangover.
During the times of weakness, I would feed myself with verses, paragraphs and chapters. I would listen to music or download movies. Over the days, I feel i am inside a shell. In the facade I am okay but deep inside, the sense of sadness bothers me everytime. The thought that God can make things beautiful, as I go through process, gives me hope. I don't have to say I am happy, tell myself I am as I do know that during the process, I will be molded to sanctification. It is the response that I do with this situation that shall count, regardless I win or totally lose somethings or even people in my life.
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