Writing again. What I have learned in the past is that we can do constant prayer and worship throughout the day. We can pray randomly, pray while driving, pray while alone, pray even while with others. I have learned to even pray in between ministry services. But of course, I take my time praying to God.
There are still things that I needed to do so I can give my full focus on things, and I am working on it. I am aware of my shortcomings and faults.
I've been listening and taking notes on podcast. I crave for His Word daily. I need those to fill my thoughts and my heart so I can fully heal. And when I get there, I'd crave for more of His Word to fill me again and again.
Tonight I cried again in prayers. I know when it is deep for I feel the kind of pain that begs God on things I need to surrender, I need to give, and need to tell Him off my chest. I need the healing that only He can give. That God-gap in me that longs for His infilling.
I need to remember this very moment. Lights off, lamps on. I am in front of my pc writing these things in between cries. The deep cries of my heart longing for, not maybe answers, but peace that passes understanding to keep me guarded from all my longings and needs. I shall not want but Him. In Him I live, and move, and have my being.
I need Him to care for all my concerns. I need Him to protect me from the damages I could do because I am still healing. I have been so in touch with my emotions lately. It touches the very core of my heart. It's hard for I have lived for a while to a state of numbness that it is so painful for me to cry this much these days.
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It's been two days of my exericse. I thank Him for the strength He gives me to start. The Word says do not despise small beginning. I have always been in a rush on things-- like healing, fitness, and peace to come. This time, I am taking it slow. It's been a long journey to here. This moment. I wanted this to last long and according to righteouness that also can only come from Him.
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