Typing my thoughts again. I know I need to write. Looking back to which was lost; that I onced thought I gained, gave me bittersweet memories. Now, I am faced again with the reality that I need to work on things (this early).
It's been 3 weeks of being sober. Not that I am counting. I just remember that it was not my intention that night to share. Yet I did. And now I am dealing with all these sribbled emotions and thoughts I must surrender to God (this early) so I can finally be really better.
My schedule's tight and I give no more space to breathe and ponder. Because I was too afraid. I run away with the dread of contemplating and finding myself in silent despair. But I am here now. I wish to put into words all these things to set clear and tell myself what to do. Tonight, I was hit with words that were piercing cares. I wanted to take control, but it didn't happen. I was just faced with a reality that was put into no-tone, non-verbal words which I must comprehend on my own and find my reasoning isn't again fair.
I gave my slow breaths to feel I am still here. I have hope. I can give all these thoughts and burdens to Him who can make everything beautiful.
I shall sleep with sighs, bittersweet smiles, and heart-pounding hope of a good tomorrow.
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